1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
