Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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