It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
