So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
