remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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