I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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