How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
