I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize