If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
