I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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