he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
