i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Life is so much better after having sex.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's blow job season.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize