There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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