just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
