I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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