Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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