drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
