Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
