He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
