How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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