if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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