I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
