If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My feet surprised me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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