he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
