I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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