I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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