This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
