I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
