I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
