physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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