i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Blood and glitter go together right?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize