it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
