from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
