wat bout pragnant strippers??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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