At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
