did you get engaged???
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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