You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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