yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
