My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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