she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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