I think my fart just growled at me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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