so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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