walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
