I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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