Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
