just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This is my gift to your gina
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
