If i come over, it means nothing
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
