That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
