Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
