I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
