it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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