if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
