I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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