How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
