A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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