He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
