its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
