hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
