Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize