We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
