I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My vagina is officially offended.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
