Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
