The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
