ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
