bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
