I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
