your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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