You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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