He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
