theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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