my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
